Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
