thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
