i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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