grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
