She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
