He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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