wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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