It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
