So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
