Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
