I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dignity is for republicans.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
