so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
