8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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