Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I am naked and annoyed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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