its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
