can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize