I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
