Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
