dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
