put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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