I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize