D3 body, D1 cock
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
