How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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