If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
