my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
