Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
