Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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