My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
