So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
