There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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