I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
