Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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