Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
