Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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