How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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