In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
