he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
