yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
