apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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