we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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