I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
