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• (512): View more from Texas

  3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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• (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes

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• (850): View more from Florida

  JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there was a trapeze. enough said

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything

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• (516): View more from New York

  good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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