Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy? http://tfl.nu/hdnt
  Replies (54) Good night (2357) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article. http://tfl.nu/2zxm
  Replies (6) Good night (2743) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art. http://tfl.nu/xn8o
  Replies (11) Good night (4014) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk. http://tfl.nu/9kux
  Replies (19) Good night (791) Bad night (2931)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o
  Replies (36) Good night (6407) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about http://tfl.nu/0nal
  Replies (12) Good night (5613) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was http://tfl.nu/prge
  Replies (6) Good night (3195) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant! http://tfl.nu/ns2k
  Replies (7) Good night (4556) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this. http://tfl.nu/i32a
  Replies (2) Good night (1620) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4447) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator? (770): Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life. http://tfl.nu/b6oq
  Replies (7) Good night (2155) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch. http://tfl.nu/t9k5
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps. http://tfl.nu/1h6s
  Replies (4) Good night (1779) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint. http://tfl.nu/2vjk
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife http://tfl.nu/wnbi
  Replies (3) Good night (263) Bad night (690)

Randomize