Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!

  (301): View more from Maryland

  OMG! Ew.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lucky Dad.

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  (240): I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one! (301): OMG! Ew. (240): Lucky Dad. http://tfl.nu/dv3r
  Replies (29) Good night (695) Bad night (2770)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  HE'S 26!!!

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  (208): His mom took away his car and made him quit his job. (1-208): HE'S 26!!! http://tfl.nu/2fqd
  Replies (66) Good night (762) Bad night (6438)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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  (502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9
  Replies (10) Good night (4777) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"

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  (931): I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard" http://tfl.nu/ugy9
  Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (2422)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

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  (808): you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech http://tfl.nu/bl5m
  Replies (25) Good night (4499) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.

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  (303): If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else. http://tfl.nu/1lnu
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (2342)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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  (239): dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me. http://tfl.nu/b0dd
  Replies (15) Good night (4247) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hahaha. That's funny.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship

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  (847): That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am (248): Hahaha. That's funny. (847): But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship http://tfl.nu/cr13
  Replies (6) Good night (3199) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.

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  (562): When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid. http://tfl.nu/iodi
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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  (602): hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse http://tfl.nu/qtc9
  Replies (7) Good night (2195) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Beer bonging to Ave Maria

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  (484): Beer bonging to Ave Maria http://tfl.nu/1lbd
  Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.

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  (586): I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman. http://tfl.nu/wow9
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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  (425): She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around http://tfl.nu/v7uu
  Replies (5) Good night (745) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really

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  (+44): although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really http://tfl.nu/kxvm
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens

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  (+61): So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens http://tfl.nu/ihud
  Replies (3) Good night (475) Bad night (478)

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