Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

I totes stole your whore crown.

(239): View more from Florida

With great power comes great responsibility.

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(310): View more from California

can your parents tell?

(310): View more from California

i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

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(573): View more from Missouri

the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.

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(734): View more from Michigan

What do you wear to apply at a strip club?

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(714): View more from California

So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.

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(614): View more from Ohio

im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

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(805): View more from California

That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....

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