How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
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Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.