how can u be prego again
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.