i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
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You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You took a bar mat shot.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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