I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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