Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
