brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
