Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
