just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
