I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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