Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I want her autograph on my taint
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
