there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
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I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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