Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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