I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
