Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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