I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
