My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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