Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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