I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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