i will never coherently bang her
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
